NO Thanks to the AFI...

Nothing's ever perfect. What's the old adage? You can please all of the people some of the time and some of the people all of the time but never all of the people all of the time. Something like that....but I digress.

As a follow-up to my blog, I Would Like to Thank the AFI, I decided to make a list of the movies I'm not thankful to the AFI for having watched. To mix it up, this one is set up a little differently. There aren't many movies I've disliked since I started keeping tabs; so, I'm going to look at every movie I've disliked on the list, whether I watched it before or after the AFI released their 100 greatest. There are also varying degrees of "dislike". None border on pure unmitigated hatred, as each film serves it's purpose in cinematic history; but that doesn't mean I must like them all, does it? Again, for a complete list, go here. So, without further ado, let's begin shall we?

1. The Grapes of Wrath (#21): Why did I watch the movie? Because it was easier than reading the book for Honors Lit my Junior year of high school. (Sorry Ms. Baharestan!) What did I get out of it? The overwhelming urge to take a nap. It may not be fair of me to rate this movie based on my 17-year-old mind's opinion. However, I think even today I would find this Steinbeck adaptation slow and relatively uneventful. This era of literature has never interested or attracted me. However, that's not to say that the story of Oakies traveling to California for work during the dust bowl of the 1930's lacks heart. Hardly. Henry Fonda's uplifting portrayal of Tom Joad won him an Oscar nomination. The film went on to take home Oscars for Best Supporting Actress (Jane Darwell) and Director (John Ford).

2. Vertigo (#61): Why did I watch the movie? College friends rented it and I'd heard it was a must-see. What did I get out of it? A short nap and a lot of staring at my watch. As I mentioned in my previous AFI blog, I'm not a fan of Mr. Hitchcock. While I've liked a couple of his movies, and I respect him as an artist, his films have never kept me engrossed. Vertigo finds Stewart, a retired San Francisco police detective, hired to follow a wealthy ship-builder's wife (Kim Novak). As the story progresses, Hitchcock weaves a web only he could devise, that has our hero stretched to the brink of his own sanity. Quintessential Hitchcock...if you're not me, you'll probably love it.

3. The Birth of a Nation (#44): Why did I watch the movie? Because it was on the list. What did I get out of it? Exasperated sighs and raised eyebrows. I believe I can say without a doubt, that this was my first silent movie. I think my only other "silent movie" experience was movie within a movie in The Three Amigos...which doesn't even count. If I'm not mistaken, the reason this 1915 silent picture made the AFI's Greatest 100 is because of it's epic scale, subject matter and method of story-telling. The complete DVD version runs a baffling 187 minutes. Yes, 3 hours and 7 minutes of silent Civil War epic. While the cut down 2 hour 5 minute VHS version was boring enough for me to turn off before intermission; it's important to recognize this film broke many boundaries including depicting the KKK and racial turmoil during the 1860's. Silent films aren't for everyone, especially those of us who are used to the fast-paced movies of today. Still, Nation has it's place...but that place is not amongst my personal movie collection.

4. Rebel Without a Cause (#59): Why did I watch the movie? It was on the list and it's James Dean's signature roll. What did I get out of it? Whiney teen angst and mid-50's stereotypes. Like Marilyn Monroe, Dean has become an American Film Icon. Better remembered for leaning against a wall smoking a cigarette than just about anything else. In Rebel, Dean finds himself the new kid in town, who makes a number of friends and enemies as he strives find his place in a new school and the love of Natalie Wood. I'm sure teenagers in 1955 would have identified more with the characters in the movie and empathized with their struggle to belong in a stiflingly structured community. However, I believe my reaction was, "Wah, cry me a river and grow up!" Arguably, what's most interesting to me about this movie doesn't have anything to do with the actual film itself; it's the real life tragedy of 3 of is principle cast members. As we all know, Dean was killed in a car crash about a month before Rebel was released, Natalie Wood mysteriously drowned in a lake in 1981 and Sal Mineo was stabbed and killed in 1976. Fascinating reality, disappointing fiction.

5. North By Northwest (#40): Why did I watch the movie? Because it was on the list. What did I get out of it? About 36 minutes of intriguing action and 100 minutes of thumb-twiddling waiting for something else to happen. Arguably one of Alfred Hitchcock's greatest films and very likely his best collaboration with Cary Grant. Who hasn't seen that "money shot" of Cary running away from the crop-dusting plane? To be honest, I think this is one of the most fascinating stories Hitchcock brought to the screen. Grant's Roger O. Thornhill is an average man, who is unfortunately mistaken for CIA operative, George Kaplan, by a group of spies. Thornhill then goes through Hell and back trying to find the illusive Kaplan and clear his own identity. Along the way he meets the beautiful Eve Kendall (Eva Marie Saint), who agrees to help him on his quest for the truth. I fell asleep during this movie, probably only for about 20 minutes or so, but I fell asleep. This movie could've been incredible if Hitch had cut out about 20 to 30 minutes. Speed up the pace and get rid of the long dead periods where we're just watching people sit or listening to extraneous details. But hey...I'm in the minority here. Just go see it for yourself!

Honourable Mention

A Clockwork Orange (#46): I admit it. I hate this movie. It freaks me out. I haven't even seen it the whole way through. Now before you Kubrick fans jump on my back and start hurling obscenities at me, let me say this: You can't expect me to believe you don't find anything traumatizing about watching someone's eyes held open by wires or that you can ever listen to the song Singin' In the Rain again without the image of a very violent and graphic rape scene...I just won't believe it. (Incidentally, I can still listen to that song, because the rape scene in question is one I haven't seen.) It gets the "Honourable Mention" status because I've basically decided that I will never watch the whole movie. I don't want to see it. I have no desire to see it. Nor do I see any reason why I should see it. Do you have any idea how many other movies are out there that won't cause me personal trauma and require a visitation to a counselor after it's over? There's a lot. Trust me. Netflix has like 30 to 50, 000 for me to choose from.

Ok...let's hear it. I know you have things to say to me about disliking some of the greatest American cinematic staples of the past century. Leave your thoughts...I can take it!

TMNT (aka Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)

T-U-R-T-L-E Power!

If you were a kid in the early 90's or you had a kid during the early 90's or you were alive during the early 90's...you knew about the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle phenomenon.

I hopped on the TMNT bandwagon with their first movie, aptly named Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990), road it through the sequel Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze (1991) and fell off the wagon with the bumpy and rather lackluster Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III: Turtles in Time (1993) For some unknown reason, the big screen has been over-grown, gnarly, crime-fighting-turtleless for 14 years.

Simply shocking.

Not to worry, though. The four crime-fighting amphibians, their rodent ninja master and band of friends are back with animated vengeance. Plus, with the magic of CGI, these turtles have an unprecedented new litheness.

As with any cinematic resurrection, there are doubts surrounding the ability to make a new movie equal to the original. Naturally, a number of TMNT fans have awaited the release of this newest adventure with a mix of excitement and fear. Myself included. Would Kevin Munroe (who according to his imdb page, had only 1 video game to his directorial credit) be able to capture and deliver a story with the same action, comedy and fun of the first movie?

For all you comic book readers out there, I would just like to say this: I have never read the comics. I don't know anymore than the movies have taught me. That having been said, I thoroughly enjoyed the new TMNT. Michelangelo was bodacious with his obnoxious puns, prompting one of his amphibious brothers to quip, "Mikey, do you remember our little talk?" Donatello was introduced to the audience as "your friendly IT support agent 24 hours a day." Raphael is as angry as ever. And Leonardo is searching for himself in South America.

TMNT gave me the overwhelming urge to watch the 1990 original, which I own thanks to my wonderful little brother, so I popped it in when I got home. There are some amazing similarities. Specifically between Raph and Leo. I won't say more for those who will be seeing one or both of the movies in the near future, but I think some of the dialogue is even the same at parts.

With all do respect to the original...I do believe this latest installment, which continues the story of the four brothers following the demise of Shredder and The Foot (who do make an appearance), does more to set up the characters of the Turtles. As a kid, I didn't grasp the concept that Raph was angst-ridden, Don was the genius, Leo was the fearless leader and...well, ok I did get that Mikey was the party dude! Kudos to the TMNT scriptwriters for transforming the boys from 4 pizza-loving partiers into 4 distinct and independent characters.

What would I have liked to see more of? Mikey and Don. The first movie showcased some great numchuk action...this movie had virtually none. Well, no visible ones anyway. Likewise, Donatello and to an extent Michelangelo’s characters both took a backseat to the conflict between Leonardo and Raphael. They've left the door open for a sequel...so let's bring the other two brothers into the spotlight!

Totally tubular shots of the boys looking powerful, cheesy jokes and radical amphibious ninja action. The Turtles are back in town...COWABUNGA, DUDES! 4 Stars.

The 100 Quotes of Me...20 - 1...The Big Finale

Drumroll please! This list represents the last of the 100 Quotes of Me. In the top 20 you will find the quotes that I either identify with most or have worked their way into my lexicon so far that I've nearly forgotten where I heard it in the first place!

20. Obi-Wan: Luke, you're going to find that many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our own point of view. (Return of the Jedi)

19. Greg: Oh, I love that movie. (Sleepless in Seattle)

18. Bob: We always like to avoid confrontation, whenever possible. (Office Space)

17. Alexander: I asked you a simple question! Do you love her?
Peter: YES!! But don't hold that against me, I'm a little screwy myself! (It Happened One Night)

16. Largeman: Fuck, this hurts so much.
Sam: I know it hurts. But it's life, and it's real. And sometimes it fucking hurts, but it's life, and it's pretty much all we got. (Garden State)

15. Bulgarian Girl: Mousier, you are a man. If someone loved you very much so that your happiness was the only thing she wanted in the world…that she did a bad thing to make certain of it. Could you forgive her?
Rick: Nobody ever loved me that much. (Casablanca)

14. Largeman: Maybe that's all family really is. A group of people who miss the same imaginary place. (Garden State)

13. Sugar: It's the story of my life. I always get the fuzzy end of the lollipop. (Some Like it Hot)

12. Frank: I will not apologize for who I am. (Magnolia)

11. Robbie: It's just there were a lot of little things like that. I know that sounds stupid...
Julia: Not at all. I think it's the little things that count. (The Wedding Singer)

10. Elwood: I always have a wonderful time, wherever I am, whoever I'm with. (Harvey)

9. Duckie: It's called a sense of humor. You should get one, they're nice. (Pretty in Pink)

8. Clarence: Remember, George: no man is a failure who has friends. (It’s a Wonderful Life)

7. Largeman: It just sort of happens one day and it's just gone. And you can never get it back. It's like you get homesick for a place that doesn't exist. (Garden State)

6. Kate: Happy - smile. Sad - frown. Use the corresponding face for the corresponding emotion. (French Kiss)

5. Tracy: You seem quite contemptuous of me all of a sudden.
Dexter: No, Red, not of you. Never of you...Red, you could be the finest woman on this earth....I’m contemptuous of something inside you--you can’t either help or won’t attempt to. Your so-called “strength,” your prejudice against weakness, your blank intolerance.
Tracy: Is that all?
Dexter: That’s the gist of it. Because you’ll never be a first-class human being or a first-class woman until you’ve learned to have some regard for human frailty. It’s a pity your own foot can’t slip a little sometime, but your sense of inner divinity wouldn’t allow that. This goddess must and shall remain intact. (The Philadelphia Story)

4. Anne: I know I chatter on far too much…but if you only knew how many things I want to say and don’t. Give me SOME credit. (Anne of Green Gables)

3. Becky: That's your problem! You don't want to be in love. You want to be in love in a movie. (Sleepless in Seattle)

2. Kathleen: Every thing I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn’t it be the other way around? (You’ve Got Mail)

And last, but certainly not least..........The Number 1 Quote of Me!

1. Buddy Elf: I just like to smile. Smiling’s my favorite! (Elf)

Well, thus ends my 100 quotes of me; hope you enjoyed them! I may get ambitious again and re-do my 100 Favorite Movies of all time...but don't hold your breath, that takes a lot of time and energy! :)

An Homage to the Amphiboogie Danci-Frog

It was brought to my attention recently, that I did not give due reverence to a staple of childhood. Not just my childhood, but that of countless others in my generation. A group of entertainers that taught us the value of friendship, love and that living in bus station lockers was the most economical way to sell your show on Broadway! The Muppets.

I was not one of the "fortunate" kids who was able to watch The Muppet Show on TV. Alas, my formative years in eastern Kentucky did not include the plethora of cable channels available to children in larger cities. I had to, instead, make due with Muppet movies on VHS. Which were a pretty decent trade-off, if I do say so myself!

Like so many of my 1980's staples; I rediscovered Kermit the Frog, Miss Piggy, Fozzie Bear, The Great Gonzo and all their friends as an adult and have fallen in love with them all over again for completely new reasons. The humour of the prat falls, funny voices and cute characters have been replaced with satire, sarcasm and a greater appreciation of the cameos. Therefore, I have decided to make a list of my favorite Muppet movies.

After much deliberation, I've opted to only include "Muppet" movies that star Kermit and the gang. This is not to say that I didn't love and adore other Henson classics like Emmet Otter's Jugband Christmas, Labyrinth and The Dark Crystal. Merely that I have to set boundaries somewhere!

1. Muppets Take Manhattan: The third of the classic Muppet movies was my favorite. Most likely because I thought of myself as the greatest actor in my church and the best ballerina in my little class of other 6 year olds. What little girl wouldn't love the idea of starring in a play on Broadway (or the introduction of The Muppet Babies)? The tale of one noble frog's persistence to see his dream come to fruition, even if it means he must bid farewell to the pig of his dreams and all his friends (all the dogs and bears and chickens and things) is something we all face as we grow older. Most of us go on to find something stable...but the dreamers, the Kermits of the world, they fight for their dreams and don't give up. "The frog is STAYIN'!!" You should re-watch this movie, if for no other reason, than to see Joan Rivers' cameo...her transformation from 1984 to 2007 is more frightening than amazing!

2. The Great Muppet Caper: I must admit, I didn't think much of this movie when I originally saw it. The misadventures of our furry, foamy friends in England didn't appeal to my young self. However, when I went on a Muppet-movie-buying spree several years back, I picked up Caper on a lark. What I discovered was one of the greatest little gems of Henson's repertoire. What makes it so special to me now is it's comic take on movies as a whole; having characters comment on everything from the people in the credits (Fozzie: "Kermit, do people actually read these names?" Kermit: "Sure. These people have families.") to the acting chops of the Muppets themselves. (Piggy: "I am playing 800 different emotions!" Kermit: "Well, try to play one of them right!") Of all the Muppet movies, Caper garners the most guffaws of joy from me. Watch it again for the first time!

3. The Muppets Christmas Carol: Ah, Dickens. I think when he envisioned his tale of Ebeneezer Scrooge, Bob Cratchit and Tiny Tim; he must've pictured Michael Caine, Kermit the Frog and Kermit's real-life nephew Robin. Yes, in fact, I'm sure that's what good ol' Charlie was thinking, "Gee, I hope that within the next century or so a frog stars in this movie!" This ties with Scrooged as my favorite rendition of Dickens' classic "A Christmas Carol". The first Muppet movie released after Jim Henson's heartrending death in 1990, I was pleasantly surprised with Brian Henson's maiden voyage. Cute songs, great use of the characters and lots of arguably "new age" Muppet humour. Love it!

Honourable Mentions: Call me sacreligious, but The Muppet Movie falls in this category. As with Manhattan we find our gang on a quest to break into Hollywood, all meeting each other and building lasting friendships along the way! This initial big-screen Muppet film was wonderful but didn't quite have the pull for me that the three above exhibited.

The second of my honourable mentions is only "sort of" a Muppet movie: Follow That Bird. It's been years since I've seen this movie, but it's always held a special place in my heart. The story of Sesame Street's Big Bird searching for his place in the world tugs firmly on my heartstrings even today. I remember thinking upon its release in 1985, that I was "too old" to see this movie (yes, I was only 7). Sesame Street is, after all, geared towards toddlers and pre-elementary kids. However, Bird captured the same magic as the other Muppet treasures and is therefore enjoyable for kids (and adults) of all ages!

Now it's your turn. I know you have thoughts. I know you have a favorite Muppet movie. Spill! Enquiring minds want to know!

Incidentally...just who is the "Amphiboogie Danci-Frog"?? Check out the "Kermit & Floyd" Muppetism on The Great Muppet Caper's Special Features to find out!

The 100 Quotes of Me...40 - 21

The end grows nigh, we're down to the last 40 quotes. As we start getting closer to number 1, a lot of the quotes will be more in the "define me" and "quotability" categories than the "just fun" category. A little more insight into the mystery that is k8! :)

40. Harry: I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible. (When Harry Met Sally…)

39. Elwood: Well, I've wrestled with reality for 35 years, doctor, and I'm happy to state I finally won out over it. (Harvey)

38. Frank: I CAAARE!! (Scrooged)

37. Doc: Why Kate, you're not wearing a bustle. How lewd. (Tombstone)

36. Spanky: Hey there stud-puffin, goin my way? (The Little Rascals)

35. Mother: Make him feel important. If you do that, you'll have a happy and wonderful marriage - like two out of every ten couples. (Barefoot in the Park)

34. Emilio: I am very, very sneaky, sir. (Mr. Deeds)

33. Jefferson Smith: You see, boys forget what their country means by just reading The Land of the Free in history books. Then they get to be men they forget even more. Liberty's too precious a thing to be buried in books, Miss Saunders. Men should hold it up in front of them every single day of their lives and say: I'm free to think and to speak. My ancestors couldn't, I can, and my children will. Boys ought to grow up remembering that. (Mr. Smith Goes to Washington)

32. Verbal: The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist. (The Usual Suspects)

31. Frank: You…are a lone reed. (You’ve Got Mail)

30. C-3PO: It's against my programming to impersonate a deity. (Return of the Jedi)

29. Navin: This is the kind of spontaneous publicity, your name in print, that makes people. I’m in print! Things are gonna start happening to me now! (The Jerk)

28. Lucky: Well, we're just gonna have to use our brains.
Ned & Dusty: Dammit. (The Three Amigos)

27. Bonnie: If your manner of speech is any indication of the workings of your mind, then it's a wonder you can even tie your shoes. (Hurlyburly)

26. Lucas: Damn the man. (Empire Records)

25. Blauner: That’s great. We’ve got a miniature version of you, and he’s a method actor. (Beyond the Sea)

24. Don: I’m trying to say something to you, but I’m such a ham…I guess I’m not able to without the proper setting. (Singin in the Rain)

23. Shirley: Some people just don’t appreciate. (Take Me Out to the Ballgame)

22. Michele: Me, too! Uh! (Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion)

21. Peter: Well, I generally come in at least fifteen minutes late, ah, I use the side door - that way Lumbergh can't see me, heh - after that I sorta space out for an hour.
Bob: Da-uh? Space out?
Peter: Yeah, I just stare at my desk, but it looks like I'm working. I do that for probably another hour after lunch too, I'd say in a given week I probably only do about fifteen minutes of real, actual, work. (Office Space)

I would like to thank the AFI...

Over the past 6 years I have been on a mission; a slow mission but a good one nonetheless. Just what is this lofty goal I've been pursuing for more than half a decade? Why, to watch all 100 of the AFI's 100 Greatest Movies of All Time, of course. It's a slow-going process for me, though. Like the Oscars, I've found a number of the movies to be very heavy and dramatic...a theme that often causes me to sit on my hands and take my time.

This isn't to suggest that the AFI holds the same Academy standards for "great" movies. Hardly. This list canvases a large number of genres over the first 100 years of American cinema. For a complete list, go here. I should note that there are a number of movies on this list that I adore; e.g. Singin' In the Rain (#10), Star Wars (#15), Raiders of the Lost Ark (#60), The Sound of Music (#55), The Silence of the Lambs (#65), The African Queen (#17). In this blog, though, I am going to focus on 5 movies I watched solely because of their existence on this list. These 5 films have gone on to become some of my most favorite and most respected.

1. The Philadelphia Story (#51): I love this movie. I think to a certain extent it's because I find a little of myself in Traci Lord's (Katharine Hepburn) willful and independent nature. She knows what she wants in life, presents herself as a strong woman and hides her frailty out of fear or insecurity. Hepburn (my favorite classic actress) is joined by the always impeccable Cary Grant and Jimmy Stewart. On the eve of Traci's marriage to George Kittredge (John Howard), her ex-husband C.K. Dexter Haven (Grant) shows up unexpectedly with tabloid journalists (Stewart, Ruth Hussey). Mayhem ensues. Don't miss my favorite scene which finds a rather inebriated Stewart laying it all on the line with Grant. Great fun!

2. Bringing Up Baby (#97): Kate and Cary make yet another appearance on my list with this screwball comedy classic. In this film we find Grant as university paleontologist, Dr. David Huxley, trying to score the big donation that will fund all the dinosaur digs his little heart desires. Unfortunately for him, Susan Vance (Hepburn), in all her ditzy and star struck ways has taken a liking to the rather geeky paleontologist...as if anyone could really believe Cary Grant was a geek. Ha! Throw in a leopard who loves the song "I Can't Give You Anything But Love, Baby" and an illusive dinosaur bone and you have the recipe for a lovely romantic comedy!

3. Some Like it Hot (#14): There are some gimmicks that always get a laugh and at the top of the list is "Men in Drag." Many films have centered on this theme over the years. Good ones: Tootsie. Cheesy-yet-fun ones: Too Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar. And terrible ones that make you want to slit your wrists: White Chicks. Some Like it Hot definitely fits in the first category. The movie's timeless humour earned it the top place on AFI's 100 Greatest Comedies list as well. The story begins in 1929, when musicians Joe (Tony Curtis) and Jerry (Jack Lemmon) witness a mob hit and are forced to flee Chicago...as women. They get jobs playing with an all-girl band in sunny Florida, which stars a sultry Sugar Kane (Marylin Monroe) with whom both men immediately fall in love. Lemmon and Curtis's antics as Daphne and Josephine are brilliant...and the scene with Lemmon and his maracas is one of my all-time favorites! Definitely a classic and worth every commendation!

4. Rear Window (#42): I should start by stating for the record: "I'm not a fan of Hitchcock." I know that in many minds that is like saying: "There is no God." or more apropos "I don't like Lord of the Rings." (Which I don't...nervously glancing around.) I have found most Hitchcock movies to have brilliant concepts and fascinating plot lines...but they are unbelievably long and boring with lengthy periods of no action. Not so with Rear Window. The lack of action actually worked well for the story and I became just as intrigued by the residents of the apartment complex as L.B. Jeffries (Jimmy Stewart) and Lisa Fremont (Grace Kelly). Those who have seen the movie will remember what was, for me, the most chilling scene: Jeffries watching Mr. Thorwald's (Raymond Burr) dark apartment, the only visible light coming from the end of his cigar. Sends a chill up my spine even now.

5. Double Indemnity (#38): This 1944 noire classic stars Fred MacMurray as insurance salesman, Walter Neff, who plots murder with his married love interest Barbara Stanwyck. I admit, it's been a while since I've seen this movie, so it's a little fuzzy. However, this is the most engaging noire picture I have ever seen. At the very beginning of the movie, MacMurray confesses his guilt to the murder and over the next 107 minutes the audience is led through a riveting disclosure of the who's, how's and why's of the crime. If a black and white noire can capture the mind of a 22 year old (ahem...me), I think that says something! Excellent!

These were some of my favorites. However, in the immortal words of LeVar Burton..."Don't take my word for it!" Go out and watch for yourself. Other note-worthy movies that didn't make my top 5, but are still worth a view: Mr. Smith Goes to Washington (#29), Casablanca (#2), Platoon (#83), The Apartment (#93), Tootsie (#62), All About Eve (#16), Guess Who's Coming to Dinner (#99), Butch Cassidy & The Sundance Kid (#50), The Gold Rush (#74), the list goes on and on. I've managed to see more than 40 movies in the past 6 years (I have just over 30 left to go)...a low number but honourable just the same. Check out the list and offer feedback! Which movies are your favorites? Which ones do you disagree with? Enquiring minds want to know!

Special Note: Whilst conducting my research, I stumbled across an announcement of the AFI's 10th Anniversary 100 Greatest Movies list. Yep, every 10 years they'll be updating the list! So keep an eye out for the newest AFI release this June!